Ya know, I’m not sure this is even a topic people want to discuss or read about, but it is so consistently on my mind that, if I don’t write about it, I’m just not being authentic. If you skip this: I get it. I’m so desperate to never hear the word “covid” again. But, it’s reality. It’s here. It’s not leaving. At least, not really. I’m not a scientist, but I believe in science, and I’m hopeful that *someday* this will be treated like a terrible cold. Honestly, right now, it seems that for most of the vaccinated experiencing break through cases, it already is. But, just to get it out of the way on where I stand, I’ll just say it now so I don’t have to say it again: Get vaccinated, get boosted. It’s not just for you. It’s to protect others who can’t.
Now that I’ve said it, let’s talk burnout. Work life balance is not the piece of cake it used to be, and I didn’t even know it was *easy* then. Once Omnicron hit New York, the week leading up to Christmas I didn’t do anything but double mask at work and take three covid tests before seeing my family. But, the new variant was so contagious it was practically impossible for someone not to get exposed or catch it. I don’t think many experienced a normal holiday, as much as many of us tried and thought we would have one the months leading up to it. It’s just too contagious, at this point.
Truthfully, I was living pretty normally up until a just before the holidays. I had a birthday party in October. I went to a Penn State Game in September. I went to a Broadway show in November (masked – which was totally fine!) But now, I feel a little stuck in limbo. I don’t want to catch it….but I also can’t go back to how I was before in the beginning of all this. Do I follow a “happy medium”? Right now, where I live, I’m finding such a contrast of those who are cautious and following our local mask mandate, whereas others aren’t. It’s frustrating. I now wear an KN-95 to work and follow the local mandate in stores. But, I also went out to a restaurant on New Years Eve. I’m trying my hardest to do the “right thing” but I am so so tired. I think many have just giving up and have accepted that they’ll probably catch it at some point, which I completely understand the mentality. Truthfully, I still just really don’t want it or, even more so, to accidentally spread it to anyone else who can’t risk it.
I know I don’t have to ask, “Are you feeling the same?” since, I’m sure, many of you are. I’m also sure there are others who disagree with what I said. But so much in my life has changed since this all started – I honestly, in many ways, hardly feel the same at all. Some people are no longer here, my job has changed, my goals have changed, I have a puppy, I have new friends….positive and negatives, which I suppose is just like always. But, this has had such a profound impact on all those changes, especially when I think back to the beginning of it all. And burnout? Well, yeah. I’m just tired of it all. Have I mentioned I’m a teacher, too?
If you made it through – thanks for listening!
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