Working in a school, I already feel pretty comfortable giving a math lesson, especially after learning so much about teaching math in my graduate program.
BUT HEY NEWS FLASH I totally have that internalized math anxiety. Easy math problems sometimes become difficult when they need to be done in a hurry in front of a crowd. I didn’t take math my senior year of high school because my school didn’t require it, and I took statistics in college (which wasn’t really my favorite…) Back in middle school, I was struggling, and I had math labs a couple times a week. Part of it was I needed to play catch up for two years from moving towns, but I also always had a hard time wrapping my mind around some of the concepts.
Well, I’m set to take a college level math exam soon in place of a course for my program. I’ve been studying daily, for a few hours a day, and I’m feeling a little terrified. I have this pressure on me where I really need to pass. Through studying, I’ve learned so much I didn’t know before, and I know it will only make me a better teacher. However, I still have the voice in the back of my head that always says “Remember: you’re not good at math.”
And, honestly, how ridiculous is that? I’m not “good” at math? That’s not how math works. Some may have a natural ability with numbers, but it’s all very straight forward once you’ve been taught how to do it. It’s getting past my frustration in not understanding the first time. I already passed the Praxis II, including the math portion, so I’m hoping that’s a good sign.
Going through this also gives me a relate-ability to my students – because, sure, multiplying fractions is easy for me. I’ve been doing it a long time! But I can also understand why that might look more complex to a fifth grader.
Basically: I’m really nervous for this test – and it’s sorta taking a lot for me to publicly admit that? Fingers crossed, everyone.
EDIT: I PASSED!!!!
