Pretty sure it’s been about a month since I’ve written a blog post. I have to say, ever since I got on that plane in Arizona, life has been a true whirlwind. Less than three weeks into starting my new position, COVID-19 started spreading in my area and we were one of the first to shut down our school completely. Two days later, we jumped into E-Learning, and ever since then that’s what I’ve been working on.
I think what makes everything particularly challenging, for probably everyone, is the stress, fear and anxiety around the virus itself. It’s always on the news. On social media. I scroll through my phone and I read horror stories about those who have it. Even though I have no reason to think I do, I get nervous that I have it and that I already unknowingly gave it to someone I care about before I knew all the information. It’s just a mad cycle. Everyday feels the same and yet incredibly different than the life I had a month ago.
Zip up is L.L. Bean and super cozy but light. Sneakers are Allbirds, which are fabulously comfortable.
Then you add the layer of being in your house all day. Let’s be honest, none of this is good for my personality type. I like control, I like planning, and I like seeing people. So this, in particular, feels additionally suffocating. I’m pretty much in my chair where I do my E-Learning all day, and then when I finally get up to move, I feel mentally drained. I miss work – my coworkers, my students, my building. I genuinely love where I work, so there’s also the layer of missing that normalcy. Plus, normally, I leave work with over 10,000 steps without even really trying. I try to walk after work to clear my head (away from others of course) which I think has helped. These pictures are from last weekend where Jake and I finally decided we needed to seriously walk.
I feel like, in all of this, I’ve neglected the blog – which adds another layer of guilt, seeing as that’s something I’m proud of and have always tried to keep up with for myself. But, this month I had to put my full focus elsewhere, because this is such a unique situation. I want to make sure I’m doing it well and to my best ability, and to do that I’ve needed to step back from everything else for a bit.
It’s also tough to complain about social distancing because everyone is doing it. We are all going through it. We’re all in it together.
In all of this, I do feel a lot of gratitude for the medical community. But, I’m also feeling angry that this had to happen this way, and that there’s not enough equipment or testing. COVID-19 has been around many months, and we weren’t prepared. We don’t have enough masks for our medical workers or ventilators to help the sick. It makes you feel like you should always be doing something to help, but it can be really hard to know how. Especially when you’re just so worried about getting it, or someone else getting it, in the first place. I never thought this was how being 25 was going to go…we’re certainly living through history.
How have you been dealing with the stress of social distancing?
